Don't think too hard about it. It's just stupid.


seventeen magazine has officially lost it

I’m amazed by how easy it is to tell that this was written by a 25-year-old trying to sound like a teen. Mostly because that’s exactly how I would have tried to sound like a teen. 





why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.

My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out

my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once

when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve

My brother tricked me into using a wine vacuum pump on my chin, thus popping all of the blood vessels in my chin. But now that we’re in our twenties, we’re really good friends, so who knows.

(via tomfuckinmison)


go into your garage, take that dirty ass rake that you think you remember using to fend off a stray animal once, and cook your fucking food on it, you piece of shit pleb. eat off the fuckin thing while you’re at it. rake = giant fork. LIFE HACK..

Nah, dude. I bought a brand new fucking rake just for s’mores. I make so goddamn many s’mores so often that it warranted the purchase of a new rake that I have to wash and keep in the kitchen so that I can continue my obsessive making of multiple s’mores at once. You know, because s’mores are a snack that people just eat on the reg, because this is fucking America.

When I grow up: You’ll know it when you see it. 

Me too, kid. Me too.